Why I’ll never be a fashion blogger (*weep*)

This post is in no way disparaging about fashion bloggers – let me say that before we go any further. In fact, I’d really love to be able to include fashion content on My Bellyful, but, sadly for me, I have absolutely no fashion sense WHATSOEVER (note that the capital letters highlight exactly how useless I am at this particular life skill).

Recently, I’ve spent a great deal of time lusting over the fashion content on other people’s blogs. I’ve desperately wanted to add my own ‘shop my look’ feature or ‘copy my style’ piece, but when it comes to fashion, I’m always at least two or three seasons behind (sometimes I’m not even sure if what I’m wearing was ever technically ‘in’ season) and I’m positive that there’s not a single soul on the planet who would be willing to listen to me waffle on about how ‘blue and green should never be seen’ (my only piece of fashion wisdom from childhood and one which I break relentlessly).

Still, there’s a certain sweetness in wishing for something you know you’ll never get, isn’t there? It allows for wildly exaggerated daydreams that take up more time than you’d care to admit (like imagining you’ve won the lottery or that you’re about to marry George Clooney). I know I’ll never be a fashion blogger for two very solid reasons: 1) I hate shopping and 2) I really hate shopping, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing that I could at least add the odd style-related post every now and then (and from there become best friends with Stella McCartney…see how my daydreams work?!).

For me, wanting to be a fashion blogger is the same as wanting to be an astronaut or a brain surgeon – I like the idea of it, but in all honesty I have neither the knowledge, skill set or motivation (and that’s a big one) to do it.

At this point, I’d really love to be able to relay a fashion faux pas or two, perhaps add a few pictures to illustrate how truly awful my fashion sense is, but there have been so many terrible outfits that I’ve somehow managed to fold them all up into a metaphorical box in my head and padlock it. Same with the photos, except they’re in a real box at my parents’ house no doubt waiting to be used as ’embarrassing photos from childhood’ material.

There have, however, been a few hairstyles that still circle round my memory (and my nightmares) from time to time – like when, in the late nineties, I decided to copy Geri Halliwell’s iconic barnet (the ginger hair with the blond streaks at the front, we all remember that one, don’t we? If you’re shaking your head, click here for some serious nineties nostalgia). The only problem being that I didn’t have ginger hair myself and so I decided that the best way to replicate Geri’s look would be to dye the front of my blonde hair brown/ginger. Needless to say, it did NOT look good!

Then there was the time I cut my own fringe (don’t pretend you’ve not tried it!) and the time I decided to dye my hair orange thinking it was a really rich, colourful shade of blonde. It was also during this period that I decided I really didn’t need to visit the hairdresser that often and so I was sporting some marvellous brown roots that I have to say really offset the orange! (Quick side note: I do not hold my former hairdresser responsible for any of this. Teenagers are stubborn at the best of times and when it came to my hair, I really knew how to dig my heels in!).

So, there you have it, evidence enough that I should not be dishing out fashion advice and, if I ever do, you definitely shouldn’t be reading it! Still, those flared purple cords at the back of my wardrobe will surely come back into fashion one day and then you’ll all be begging me to tell you where I got them from…!!!

📷: Brunel Johnson on Unsplash


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